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Marriage 1/N

Date: 11-Oct-2019

 

Disclaimer: The views presented below do not belong to me. They were injected in my mind by some aliens while I was sleeping after one eventful day in marriage.

1/N means first article of the series comprising N number of articles. N here is indeterminate. Marriage is a topic with dimensions as large as universe. May be even more. Like universe, no idea about origin, beginning, end or need. Universe is supposed to be born out of one big bang; marriage is series of never ending bangs.

Talking of Physics, I am pretty sure Newton derived his laws from marriage and not motion of objects.

Law One: Every object in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion unless an external force acts on it. 

Interpretation: Any young boy or girl will stay in the blissful bachelor state unless another one of the opposite gender bumps into and forces marriage.

Okay, opposite gender is no longer a pre-requisite.

Parents, or people with self-proclaimed mandate of moral policing, can be other external forces. 

May be a positive test after unprotected encounter.

Law Two: Force equals mass times acceleration.

Interpretation: Force can be emotional blackmail, report from Lab or some materialistic bait.

Immigration. 

Very naturally, the process is accelerated as per the urgency and magnitude of the force.

Law Three: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Interpretation: Needs no explanation, every couple married for more than two years can vouch for that! Newton might have underestimated second part – many a times, reaction is not equal. It is overwhelming. 

Carpet bombing. 

Strafe. 

Nuked.

People have been getting married, divorced, remarried, widowed. Still, the concept and necessity is beyond apprehension. Marriage has been so much engraved in our psyche that it has almost become a part of our DNA. Right from birth, the parents start dreaming about marriage of the child. And once the child becomes adolescent, hormonal lever drops and self-destructive thought process of marriage sets in.

Adam and Eve were not married. That gives one clarity –marriage does not have the same timeline as human beings. So, marriages are not made in heaven – just another ploy to make god fearing humans accept marriage. Marriages are practiced in every religion and every geographical area. Though the means and methods of initiation, maintenance and ending, differ.  It’s a world wide conspiracy.

Many saints tried to break the code. Those who claim to understand, had to denounce the world and spent the youth in caves of Himalayas to achieve the impossible. And then they preach against sins of worldly and bodily pleasures.

Animals do not marry. May be there are no preachers in those species. Or divorce lawyers. They don’t want to get married unless there is provision of divorce.  Humans look for space in marriage, animals look for marriage in space.

Wife’s perception:

Mom, what does the stork do once he’s delivered the baby?
 
He lies on the couch, drinks beer, watches TV, burps and farts.

Husband’s perception:

In any argument, a wife has the last word. Anything the husband says after that last word is the beginning of a new argument.

 

We shall dwell……

 

August 29, 2019.

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