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CCD

Date: 04-Apr-2020


I am not sure if I am impinging on someone's copyrights. To make things clear, CCD here means Corona Clamp Down. I don't think anyone would be so unconcerned as to try to patent Corona Clamp Down. One has to keep a distance of one meter from the patent office. 

Whatever China produces, it does so in bulk. Very effective assembly line production.

Supply chain is equally effective. So here is Corona – produced, packed and distributed. All complimentary for a change. Free add-on to your travel package.

It took some suspecting doctors and quickly realizing health authorities to appreciate that they have something new on their hands. Or in throat and lungs. The discovery and the virus, made them hold their breath.

Proponents of ‘Wipe’ in the eternal war of ‘Wipe or Wash’ started making walls of toilet paper at their homes. They were quoting pre-historic book of predictions where all predictions are retro-fitted after the event has occurred. There was a footnote – “And all the soft material to wipe the exit hole shall disappear”.  So they grabbed all the toilet paper rolls, paid the bill and calculated the number of days they have secured for a clean ass. And hoped no dysentery/ diarrhea episode occurs in the family to upset their calculations. To all the relatives they sent the note - “Planning to visit us? Please carry your own toilet paper.”

Maybe they can use newspaper for the purpose. Newspaper publishers can have two kinds of material – regular and toilet paper grade. Just as there are hard cover and paperback editions. Here we can have paper-for-back edition. Newspaper can be printed in a paper roll shape. Carry your newspaper to loo, read it, use it, flush it and forget it. During diarrhea outbreak one can subscribe two newspapers. Or maybe newspaper with more pages. For wrapping purposes one can buy glossy edition.

There can be one solution for milk and gas supply. Every area should have one ‘Production Zone’ where cows and buffaloes can be reared. The milk  is to be distributed and dung used for producing gas. Animals can be divided into two categories – ‘Milk + Methane’ and ‘Methane only’ depending on their productivity. One animal for one family of four, as per udder specifications. Live-in couples can share udder. I wonder why the human output is not used for producing gas. May be the quantity is not sufficient or the bacteria are not the right kind. Otherwise I have encountered many people who produce enough gas to propel a rocket to moon. Only, the astronauts won’t be left conscious. Else we can make all such people astronauts. They can produce their own fuel and the rocket can travel the whole universe.

Working from home can be challenging and complex – it involves too many variables. Bachelor or married. Duration of marriage. Number and age of kids. GAIiM. I just invented "General Agreement Index in Marriage". Scale is one to ten. And usually the score is inversely proportion to duration of marriage. If the only point where you disagree is place and duration of vacation, you can score maybe 8. If you disagree upon how you place your shirt or shoes in room, score can be quite low. I wonder if the scale should have negative points also. If the score is OK kinds, you can designate different rooms at home as office and stay confined to those rooms only. Exit only at 5 pm. You can have the option of over time also. If the score is quite close to zero, time to act hero, stand up to boss and declare – “Sir, in these trying times, I volunteer to take care of office in person. Let all others work from home, I shall come daily and can be coordinator for all.” That will make you eligible for raise also.

Otherwise you can stay home and learn so many new things about your kids and spouse. They tend to change a lot in the times when you are away from home and them. Discovery of Family. Try to invent and patent games that you can play as family. You can learn a lot from kids about PlayStation, Xbox, net and Netflix.

Lets all cooperate and be safe. Time to convert CCD to CCD. Cease Corona Day. Otherwise, pack a case of Corona and let others bear your beer time.

 

March 19, 2020.

 

 

 

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