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Certificates, Degrees and Lemons

Date: 27-Jun-2020

I have great equation with my neighbourhood grocery shopkeeper. If I call him after 8pm and tell him it is an emergency, he promptly replies back, “don't worry sir, by the time you pour your drink, soda will reach your house."
That is wow moment of home delivery.
My birth was also a wow moment, but thankfully it was not a home delivery. Though I was born during the home delivery era, my parents were aware and erudite enough to shift the event to the local Civil Hospital. May be there were too many people at home with too few rooms. May be mom and dad wanted an away from home “pull-the-rabbit-out-of-the-hat” moment after three daughters. My gender was checked thrice and finally the entry was made in the hospital file.
Entry was sent to the local authorities and a certificate was issued to the effect that I was born.
Birth certificate.
It was kind of acknowledgement and acceptance by the government that I exist. It was more like some cause-and-effect document. Names of parents were registered as cause. I was the effect.
I worked not so hard to get admission into Medical College.
Teachers taught me how to dissect dead bodies, how to test urine, stools and saliva, how to diagnose disease and pretend to cure people.
Peers taught me how to drink, bunk classes and try to impress girls.
Finally I was awarded a degree.

That made me eligible to cure people with medicines and operate on them if need be.
A degree and the right age made me eligible for marriage.
I was no frog and no princess was on frog kissing spree.
After getting rejected so many times, finally I got married.
Celebrations lasted 10 days.
Pondering still continues after 25 years.
For achieving that feat, I was awarded Marriage Certificate.
It was just an official acknowledgement of the event. No cause and effect. Not even a congratulatory footnote.
Marriage is the legal precursor to kids. Kids meant more birth certificates.
Whenever kids arrive they get all the attention of the mother as well as grandparents on either side. Husband cum father is let loose on his own. So in that period of let loose, I managed to obtain degrees of business management and law. Also I did few certificate courses.
Arranging them in a file, I got curious.
I have degrees. I have certificates.
But what is the difference between them?
I did some research and learnt that the degrees take longer period to complete - years. Degrees impart knowledge about industry and the world as whole.
Certificate  courses take lesser time - often in months. They have narrow focus.
Now look at the irony.
I have been born for more than 50 years now and been married for more than 25 years. As in YEARS.
And what I got to meander my way successfully through both - life and marriage?
CERTIFICATES. Birth certificate and marriage certificate. That's it.
Come on folks. Think about it. Standing up to all the challenges that life throws at you, you need to be an expert, if not a champion.
Marriage is double whammy - it involves two people.
So my request to people who decide and implement - let us have birth degree and marriage degree.
Provide us in-depth training in surviving both.
The amount of lemons that life and marriage give us, we canmake lemonade for all the generation to come.

For that we need degrees and not certificates.  

27.6.2020


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